I grew up in a medical home. My sister wanted to be a medical assistant and my mom was nurse. When I was young my dreams would change from wanting to be a veterinarian to wanting to be a nurse like my mom. Either way I knew I wanted to do something medical and something that helped. I had always kind of been the caregiver in our home. I took care of my mom when she was going through chemotherapy and the medical stuff didn’t faze me. I never had that “yuck” reaction when it came to bodily fluids. That all kind of changed when I was twelve.
As you read in the story “Wheels of Fate”, my family and I were in a major car accident. There was a paramedic named Dan that treated me. He made me feel like everything was going to be ok. He gave me peace in a very chaotic time. I remember how Dan made me feel to this day, years later. My interaction with Dan that day is what set me on the path. I knew at twelve years old I wanted to work on ambulance. I wanted to be for others what Dan was for me that day. I wanted to bring peace to the chaos. I started looking at schools, started looking at ambulance companies. My dream was to work for a specific company someday.
Those hopes and dreams got put on the back burner when I had the twins. I became a stay-at-home mom. I was too busy with new dreams and raising children to even pursue the dream of being an EMT. Though, that dream was still there. I had told my ex-husband Sheldon while we were married that I wanted to be an EMT, he always told me I was too stupid, boy did I show him. He had me believing I couldn’t do it though. He refused to even let me try, it would cost too much money and I was needed at home to raise children not to be going to classes and studying. I believed it for the longest time. I was too stupid to be anything other than a stay-at-home mom and I didn’t want to cost us money just to fail.
When Sheldon and I divorced, my mom sat me down and asked me if I still had hopes to be an EMT. I told her I did, but I didn’t have the money for school, and I wasn’t smart enough to do it. Little did I know soon the money would come. You see, even though I wasn’t working, it was tax season and child support is a thing. My mom had me look up how much classes would be. I found a class in our city being put on by one of the ambulance companies and it was starting in just a month or two… and I had the funds to cover it! My mom did help me with paying for my books and testing though. She supported my dreams. After the divorce, the children and I had moved in with my mom. My classes were going to be night classes. My mom had agreed that she would watch the children for me while I attended classes and completed my ride along hours. The course was six weeks long during the summer. I finished my class in July. I completed all my schoolwork by going to the library in our city where I spent countless hours studying and taking my tests, my mom didn’t have internet at the house but where there is a will there is way.
Going through the class was a scary time for me. Could I, do it? Was I smart enough to? Would I fail? Would I be able to have time to be a mother and study? Could I balance it? It was exhausting. I was running on fumes, determination, and caffeine during this time. I was taking care of my three small children during the day and attending night classes. I did most of my ride alongs at night when my children were sleeping, but this meant I had to find time to rest during the day. My mom was a huge support during this time. She watched the kids for me while I rested. Somehow some way I made it through class and passed!
One of my favorite days of class was the pediatric assessment day. I got to bring my children into class with me for us to learn how to do assessments on kids. We learned how to buckle them into the car seats we had on our ambulances called the Pedimate. These were a make do car seat we could strap onto our stretchers. My children loved it. My classmates took my daughter Heaven on a ride on the stretcher through the building. My classmates and I got to experience doing assessments on my autistic son. It was a good day, and I was so proud to have my children there for it.
After I passed my EMT course, I had to take my national registry exam. This exam is designed for you to fail. Some of the questions will have all the answers that are right to the question, and you have to pick the most correct answer. The exam will shut you off the test if you repeatedly get the questions wrong, and it works you up in steps. My test shut off very quickly. I was for sure I failed. My mom was watching the kids during my exam so a family friend of ours, Bonnie, took me to my testing site. When she picked me up, even she thought it was fast. I wouldn’t know for a few hours if I failed or passed. I was a ball of nerves all day. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, and I kept checking the website on my phone to see if my results were in yet. Around five o’clock that night I finally got the results. I was sitting on the couch in my mom’s living room. She was in the kitchen at the sink. I looked on my phone at the website and saw I had passed, I let out a screech and my mom jumped yelling “What? What happened?” I couldn’t hold it in, I jumped off the couch and yelled “I passed! I passed!” I started to jump up and down and doing my happy dance. My children came running up giggling and dancing too! I passed my exam on my first try. I called Bonnie and told her too! I was now an EMT! I did it! All those hours of studying and stress and I finally did it! In your face Sheldon, too stupid my butt!
My children were so proud of their mom. They saw what hard work and dedication could earn you. I applied for my state license and a month later started working. I was able to get my children and I our own apartment and rebuild our lives, new and stronger than ever before. I was able to provide for my children on my own and create a safe haven that was just ours. I turned my passion into a profession and to this day, nine years later, I still have that profession. Being an EMT is who I am, it’s in my blood. My children are so proud of their mother for going to work and helping people. They have a mother that they can be proud of. They often brag to strangers and friends what their mother does for work. It shows them that if they work hard enough and never give up, their dreams can come true too. I am setting the example for my children, a good and healthy example. I gave them their mother back.
Being an EMT has given me so much back in my life. It’s not that I want to have a front row seat to someone’s worst day. It’s that by helping and healing those around me and in my community, I heal something inside of me too. Realizing that the problems in my life all guided me to this moment were worth it. I get to take all the horrible things that happened in my life and use them to help others. I have had many victims of domestic violence in the back of my ambulance, I got to speak with them about how I got out and free, a few have taken the advice and freed themselves too. I have patients that stick with me in my head always. Seeing the difference I get to make in people’s lives makes it all so, so worth it! I don’t always get to know the outcome of my patients, but the ones that I do, and I truly helped, I will never forget those. I may not make a difference to everyone, but if I can make a difference to even just one person, everything is all worth it!
Welcome To My Life 
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